Do not pass go, do not collect 200 pounds

The day before I leave, HSBC decides to freeze my current account.

In case of fraud.

They do this at random. The only way to unlock the account is to ring them and confirm the last five purchases.

They did this late Saturday night, as I was moving house. Without a phone or a mobile. Two days before leaving the country, without any access to moeny other than through ATMS. All of which these fuckers knew about.

I once worked in a call centre. I know the joy of performing a function of being the wall that absorbs the shit your manager doesn't want to apologise for. Yet still I yelled at them. For nearly an hour.

Sample phrase I'm rather embarrassed about now: "this is MY money, not YOURS".