How to keep a customer

The T-Mobile Way: when I explain what I'm doing and ask for a way to disnegage my cell phone without killing the account ...
Offer me an 'extended absence' plan, where I pay you £3 a month just to NOT delete my phone number, and where you transcribe and email to me any voicemails or texts I get till I return.
Brilliant.

The Demon ISP Way: when I ask to transfer my broadband account to another address ...
Demand that I unsub entirely from Demon, but don't let me do that till the end of the month, so you get two weeks extra broadband rental.
Then demand I sign up all over again at the new address, but two weeks earlier, so you get three weeks extra broadband rental.
Wankers.